I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
