How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize