Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Drunk is a universal language darling
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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