she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
