i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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