Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
