i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize