At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
