At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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