Betty ford says i'm here all night
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
