I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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