it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
