thus making me awesome and them whores
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
