Did you just see the Batmobile???
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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