Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
