Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
it's like heaven, but drunker
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
