My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if only i could text you this smell
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
