I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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