Sry I called you an 8
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
