put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
