wanna go halves on a baby?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
