I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
