i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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