Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
