She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
