So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
