she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
