It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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