i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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