i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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