So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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