You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
