please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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