based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize