Midget sex pt 2 tonight
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
