I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
