I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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