I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
