Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
