i love accidental penises.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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