Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
my liver is dry heaving
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
