I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize