I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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