I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
