Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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