my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
no you cant smoke seaweed
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
