So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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