Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
