Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
