Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
FUCK WHALES
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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