Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
