This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
