if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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