I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
