Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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