If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Christians are straight up FREAKS
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
