how can u be prego again
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
