woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm at about main and main street
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
