The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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