toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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